'Can't Love (Fleeting)'

We met on February 20th, and it's far too soon for me to love you. So I don't. But you're on my mind a lot, maybe a bit too much actually...

I don't know what I feel anymore, I think I love you? But I'm not "capable of love", so what's the deal? The thought of being with anyone, makes me want to hurl, so I guess it's more of an obsession, if anything. I want to own you, and to care for you, and love you... But that's not in my heart. I don't know how to describe it, I want to do all these sweet things for you, and I care so much but... I don't know if I want to spend the rest of my life with you. Or with anyone.

If anything, the disgust I feel from the thought of ever being with anyone, makes me feel like I hate you sometimes. Though I still stay, and I hide it. Half from courtesy, half from curiosity. I don't want to hurt you, because you don't deserve to be hurt, right? But even if I dismiss that, I find myself wondering about what I might get to know about you, far too much to cut you from my life.

I guess I'm just playing along. I think I started out believing I wanted you. But as always... I was wrong, now I'm just continuing the storyline where I love you, but I don't know which feelings are real anymore. I kinda wish you never came into my life.